


Penelope

by GoldenHavoc



Series: Beautiful Trauma [1]
Category: The Evil Within (Video Game)
Genre: Adult Language, Beautiful Trauma Series, Drama & Romance, M/M, POV First Person, Sebastian Castellanos - Freeform, Sexual Intercourse, Stefano Valentini - Freeform, Stream of Consciousness, cursing, erotic elements, husband au, inspired by Ulysses written by James Joyce, please read the note at the beginning before the story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-08
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2019-02-10 05:27:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12905064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoldenHavoc/pseuds/GoldenHavoc
Summary: (Penelope:) ‘So I wish that they who have their homes on Olympos would make me vanish, or sweet-haired Artemis strike me, so that I could meet the Odysseus I long for, even under the hateful earth, and not have to please the mind of an inferior husband. Yet the evil is endurable, when one cries through the days, with heart constantly troubled, yet still is taken by sleep in the nights; for sleep is oblivion of all things, both good and evil, when it has shrouded the eyelids. But now the god has sent the evil dreams thronging upon me. For on this very night there was one who lay by me, like him as he was when he went with the army, so that my own heart was happy. I thought it was no dream, but a waking vision.’ (20.79-90)





	Penelope

**Author's Note:**

> Good day, afternoon, night or evening out there,
> 
> So this is an experiment mostly for myself since I currently have to read Ulysses by James Joyce for an oral exam. I am deeply fascinated by this book and its different writing styles. It's a huge book, over 900 pages in total and difficult to understand everything sometimes, but that only makes me love it even more, I guess. Especially the last chapter called Penelope which stands out due to its maddeningly missing punctuation altogether was a ride till the end - really, you won’t find a single comma or period or paragraph in there just pages and pages filled with a never-ending stream of consciousness; your head starts spinning afterwards, believe me. (You can google it if you want to have an example beforehand)
> 
> I was so impressed by the concept alone it inspired me to try myself on writing something similiar with - guess what - Stefano in the picture. Even Stefano in first person, his query thoughts on display. And thus this here came into being. 
> 
> I never planned to introduce my StefSeb Husband AU with a piece like this, (I’m actually working on a more ‚normal’ approach of this series in the form of a Oneshot, one of few as the term series suggests) but since I’ve been struggling with writer’s block often lately and have doubted myself to the extent that I can’t write at all and exams are running towards me too I was just glad to put and finish something on paper that somehow makes sense at last.
> 
> Anyway, here have a sluggish ruined piece of mind of our favourite mad artist in a rather complicated yet (in my opinion) intriguing form. I have tried to make reading easier by adding hyphens here and there plus single quotes since it would be a total mess otherwise and I'd like you to make this experience without a headache.
> 
> Have fun reading. I doubt there will be much feedback offered for this writing style is not considered the usual, but I would of course be intrigued to hear your thoughts on it. And for the ones waiting for more OS taking place in the universe of Beautiful Trauma - behold, there's more to come in time ;)

How has it come to this I wonder with him and me and the rings wrapped around our fingers golden in the flickering lamplight with late evening casting shades on the venetian blinds lying in bed half naked eating pizza slices they’ll go right on my hips I know he doesn’t mind but I do I feed him he feeds me like in the movies he’s kissing the smudges from the corners of my mouth it makes me laugh silence outside except the occasional car-honk my ear to his chest curls of hair there scratching my cheek chewing we talk about his work my art about murders it usally comes down to corpses and gore and beauty when we’re on our own no worries about that he’s gotten used to it by now my dear he’s never been a great storyteller but he has own ways to lure you inside his tales nevertheless his voice gets dark and crisp eyes shiny when he’s excited he uses his hands to draw shapes in the heated air albeit clumsily but determined I love that about him I watch and marvel catch his hand to suck the grease off his fingers like I was mad tasting the flesh tasting him sucking him it makes him stutter it’s all the same really a big feast in need to be eaten with sweat as salt and the sauce a treat for the patient for me only me no one else may have it he’s the main course the dessert the pearl I want him raw on my tongue I tell him he laughs because he knows his eyes are ember in the dying sunset I kick the boxes off the matress their hollow clatter and get on his lap a bulge in his sweatpants he yanks at my shirt I bite his lips push my tongue between teeth and flavours cheese tomato tobacco prominent hes been drinking again I think he’s smoking more when he had a beer or five I wonder who’s dragged him into one of those foul bars this time after the end of his shift he won’t tell me of course he knows I hate his colleagues they’re a waste of time keep him away from home from me I loathe them with a passion God knows I’d strike them dead if he’d allow me but no Stefano you can’t be too suspicious this city has given you a label already you have to be careful what if you’re caught he always says that with his stern voice a beautiful baritone he has when angry sometimes I wished I’d be caught only to see the look of fury on his face as they drag me in a cell pain in each wrinkle would he cry for me yes probably yes he’s got that soft old heart in his chest a grande contrast to my eager skyless soul how gorgeous to know it beats against my own in such rapid fashion every night and when we’re far our tongues tangle in slick rhythm his fingers go south grab my ass each hand kneading a cheek spreads them apart teasing makes me feel open twitching for nothing I moan he never beats around the bush when he wants something body-shaped a beast kept in chaines of social bigotry I knew from the moment I saw him that uniform was cut for him but he was cut for me his lovely violence I wreak the muse I can’t tire off a sparkling pool of epiphanies no choice has the artist but to worship him for the man he is like Polyphem did Galatea I kiss down his stubbly jaw and throat and the Adams Apple leave a trail long and damp give each rosy nipple a lick and gnaw too impatient to dwell I’m still hungry but the thirst gets the better of me always does an addict like himself I need a drink only he provides ambrosia is what the Gods call it I like the sound of it but it won’t come served in a goblet these days they make us work for it yet they earn the praise his muscles like breathing valleys under my hands smooth and rough and flexing bite down to his navel bite around it drawing blood marks is what I do best he sighs and trembles he’s under my mercy now I couldn’t be more disarmed myself my knife is in the studio waiting for new material I haven’t been on the hunt for months he should reward me for it but when doesn’t he try to honestly if damn work wouldn’t eat up half his mind it better be full of me like I’m full of him once this ends and starts again I could go two rounds just with our bodies intertwined lazy rubbing murmuring secrets and sins some have called my works the works of the devil but when I’m the devil then who is he bringing me down on my knees his fingers card through my hair so tender as I take him into my mouth one swallow suckle on the tip hips buck in response my name in a ragged breath a ting of sweat on his brow heat and pheromones thick as balm in the room he’s so pure there carnal desire stripped off any humanity the world demands to portray just biological need and the lust for sex clouding his mind procreation becoming infatuation he’s already hard as day shakingly filled and leaking the girth stretching my mouth I’ve surpassed the gag-reflex years ago thought it wasn’t worth much till now I feed on his every inch my teeth scraping the vein protruding near the base he curses wriggles legs falling apart in defeat I hum in contentment Italian lullaby in mind deep and low the vibrations making his balls tighten almost making him cum on the spot I’d let him suck him dry I’m parched to the bone his grip changing tugs at my hair short nails claw my scalp desperate I chuckle squeeze some drops of precome out of him salty sticky feral things like molten gold can’t quench me yet he pulls me up kissing give him his taste and moan for more more I’ll get more he promises I nod he’s a man of his word and I’m his worst he turns to the nightstand parting from me pulling out drawers fumbling while I burn oh I hate the recess already why can’t my body lube itself like those bitches do they get all wet drenching the sheets in their arousal alone I should do the same I doubt my arousal is any less than a woman’s for the man before me no ridiculous no one’s ever craved him like me loved like me I would kill for him who else could say that above all not the blonde hag that had him in her clutches till she got uncomfortable this stupid whore she could not handle him so brutal and weak she was the weak one I am not weak I see his true self in all the colours my perception offers she took his daughter too granted custody to herself monthly visits allowed how did she even do that must have used the alcohol topic and spun a string of lies to make it believable he won’t ever get over it for real I fear it saddens me I can’t recall to be fond of children whatsoever but for him I’d throw a bunch each year I’d bear the stretch the weight the pain to make him smile if I could they’d be our little masterpieces running around showing him their pictures hugging him say Daddy Daddy look what I made I call him Daddy too sometimes when he comes home disgruntled and puts his aching skull in my lap or is hammering into me at night noon morning he says he hates it embarrasses him but I feel him swell every time so I scream Daddy fill me  _please_ and he does he does can’t deny me anything kissing me with tears in his eyes he’s not a good liar typical cop gene but that’s about it I’ve never seen my father in the flesh mama always said he’d treasure us the money he sent those first seven years of my life told her so screw that bastard screw him and screw that hag snatching daughters we only need each other she can’t have him no more I’d rather skin her myself this neophyte philistine fool to think she with him in one bed doing what we do I go stiff all over his voice asks me what’s wrong babe so near so sudden must have seen my face the agony hands back at my body massaging circles into my back leaving fingerprints he only calls me babe when he’s worried he says it so often since we’re married did he call her babe too of course he did it’s a common pet name nothing special some call their dog babe too I think or sweetie or honey what do I know of dogs I never had one they’re dirty he probably wished for one when he was a boy like all boys do but me I wanted a boa constrictor a lovely creature swallows its prey whole fur and all maybe I’ll be reborn as one it’s nothing I tell him gaze cast aside darkness has taken over the cityscape for good I can’t see the stars from here the ones in his eyes have to make due you don’t think about her when you’re with me right I ask him I’m better than her right in any way right it pours fast out my mouth like poison acidic foam in my veins I shouldn’t have let these fears take shape damn me and my tongue he looks at me long and pondering such honest eyes sometimes I’d like to crack his head open to see the rosy workings of his brain beneath as they die and fade to babbling grey and these eyes grow dull what a great composition the brain is anyway yet still so fragile don’t get me started on the outer shell I’ve seen skeletons shatter like toys back then the flesh came off in chunks the screams’ echo piercing my ears soon as I tarry on the streets of Krimson my eye hurts the mutiny of men scared shitless the dust stuffing my throat war they called it war pah slow suicide that’s what it was for everybody I still have pictures from that time I had the film rolls clutched to my chest on my back with the world dipped in red as I lay dying a wonderful phrase by the way quite melancholic Hemingway I think was it I lashed out when doctors reached for me for my rolls you cotton-masked fuckers only death could make me part from them I swore this with my bated breath then passed out and I survived Lord heavens Satan whoever responsible I survived and came back and what for to be a bush-league surrogate serving as compensation for some lonely man’s ex-wife it better not be like that no God can help him if it’s true no God no hell I’ll be my own punisher punishing him his fingers rise to my chin capturing my profile in the rugged husk of his palms they crush and caress so fast turning me into his direction the bottle lies somewhere behind him I see the opened cap greenish gel oozing on the sheets in trickles its my favourite it glides so well in out in out he knows that I love you he says leans forward only you his breath fanning over me all he catches is my sharp cheekbone to peck this does not answer my question I say in return I know full well when someone dogdes the topic mama raised no fool I’ve had enough critics staring speechless at my art statues of breathing wax no less graceful and useless then talking about the weather or the president’s most recent tweet who the _fuck_ cares about the president when you look at art have people no shame no sense in their shrivelling body anymore is this what the 21st century has come to now maybe I was born in the wrong timeline I should have chosen one with some taste left you’re no substitute for anything he says he looks taken aback and sad it makes him old could I ever believe that I don’t know I’m cold who left the window open can’t remember it’s freezing shivers down my spine his fingertips following like devoted ghosts no I want them off I feel dirty I’m not who I’m supposed to be but who is and who does he think he is who I share this bed with two years now two years wedded by Theo and still the doubts the fright of not being enough of being thrown away for two blue eyes not one counting days weeks fucks I slip off the mattress with one leg steady floor good toe just inches from a box ha-heart in my throat jumping need to leave regain composure he catches my wrist wait don’t go the anguish in his voice palpable I love you what else can I - do you love me more than you loved her I ask he’s on thin ice he knows I’ve got that look on me he’s tried to describe it once or twice a sumptuous mix of vulnerability and bloodlust and the smallest hint of tears she is part of my past but that’s over with all the love I had for her I dedicated to you - I don’t want no second-hand love I want what’s mine - I _am_ yours - prove it - **Stefano get your ass back here** **and I’ll show you** I look at his left hand holding me and sob a lonely sound familiar and close to the heart to my art how has it come to this I wonder with him and me and the rings wrapped around our fingers golden in the flickering lamplight it seems aeons ago it was fall I remember we stood at the altar blue and violet light filtering through the stained-glass window above my suit white his suit black as sin the tie the shade of my gloves the irony he looked magnificent in it his freshly-shaven chin so unnatural to see it was perfect perfect sometimes I think it still is except for the times it’s not he lets go of my arm beckons me to come closer on my own my choice is it really he grants a freedom I don’t yearn for naked as he is as I am amenable to every wound we could jab into each other he leans back spreads his legs a little further apart sneak a peek at the peak dripping how dare he my knees nearly buckle breath coming out in shallow puffs it’s all yours he says strangely hoarse and nervous like a damned succubus in training so charming has learned some tricks from me I see I should get my camera and take a dozen of pictures hang them on my wall while I work always nice to have added inspiration of my soon to be masterpiece to create works of lesser quality for this gallery of life still astonishing of course an artist of such class makes no mistakes is he my mistake my Folie à deux is this my legacy what is a legacy it’s planting seeds in a garden you never get to see ah Hamilton could you bear the burden I bear just as graceful and awe-stricken I dragged him into this one yes he’d have rather watched a movie in the cinema we’re so different actually people like to remind us gaze at me glare at him oh Mr. Valentini you’re so young still where’s your lucky lady hey Seb going for the kids now Connelly was it I think had him sliced on the spot in my mind’s eye he said Oscar’s joking no worries well I don’t worry I get rid of worries get after what I want always do and I wanted him got him keep him body and soul he’s waiting pulse high skin flushed just a bit in all the right places trust is such a heavy word in my chest faithfulness another I swallow oh God I’m weak sink back to bed crawl on all fours to him a blind cub pleading milk he enfolds me ready the overwhelming heat sipping into my core my hands around his throat a kiss teeth clashing pressing me into his hold his cock between my cheeks like a blazing rod I tense squeeze around it show me then I say show me all you’ve got his pupils blown two fingers slick pushing into me at once I gasp he lies me down slamming them in out in out pleasure curling along my spine while he licks my shaft broad tongue swirling wet could come from this alone so hot and hard sweat forming glistening driblets on my chest my trembling thighs everything’s on fire let my head drop savor the feeling of ecstasy moaning loud I wished I could kill her I bet my life sometimes he wishes for it too he’s got that dark side to him everyone has maybe later maybe we’ll figure something out yes you never know I’m a persistent thing and accidents happen don‘t they he sucks me down to the hilt I scream calls me drama queen shut it if I’m queen this better be a royal fuck he chuckles I’ll try he says the brooding predator a last kiss threateningly soft to the glans I’ll try he gets up positioning himself I watch I marvel counting the old scars and fading bruises on his torso like a map to paradise most of them are mine some from work I always preferred to leave a signature all it needs is an eye on the inside of his right inner thigh to complete the picture he refused till this very day my insolent man let’s see if we can change tha- ah he’s prodding my hole impatient as ever I coo for his cock his lifeline his everything say it again - what - say you’re mine - I’m yours I’m yours I’m _fucking_ oh _-_ my mewl when he thrusts into me _ah_ the relief of it his growled hush like I was some kid to calm down he can’t help take care of me even with my hands trenched in crust fat or blood quivering like that one time he caught me in the killing act and the guarding grip of his hands on my hips bruising like metal hot and deft as he seeks the angle _ah_ he’s huge I always forget _ah_ his pulse throbs measuring mine the engorged tip like wet fire nudging my insides deep please deeper go deeper _ah_ tear me apart I beg you make me looser by the minute to welcome you whole I’ve had cocks in me before but not many men use them the way I need just think of themselves and push and grunt like animals spilling their load ringraziamento Dio I made them use condoms telling I had some unearthly disease but they hardly ever cared afterwards just thrusting thrusting aim and shoot I was a hole of many to bury their sorry ends in but well some urges make slaves of all of us I guess he’d have a larger death count than me if I’d tell him but I won’t those knuckles are for me to ruin not to prick with some cockheads’ bone fragments I’d kiss them either way it was never like that with him no no need to compare him with others size he’s incomparable got a mouth on him sure and and his tongue so fiendish his fists are a sight too clad in red but he slips so gently into me thin lips tacked to my neck kissing warm and wet nibbling soothing sounds into hungry skin every fibre checking he knows what it takes to break a body so do I he won’t go that far with me right we’ve never used condoms I’d remember that I want him to paint me as much as _ah_ I want to carve him up in my dreams oh there’s the spot _yes_ again do it again flesh slapping flesh the zest of skin I can take it I’m made for this you were made for me _yes_ my arms ’round his neck like a thorned tourniquet as he ups the pace _yes_ just how I like it getting possessive getting headless his primal scent wrapping me _yes_ my toes curling _yes_ rocking my perspiring back along the sheets I claw onto him scratch my initials into rolling shoulder blades again _yes_ again make me cry _ah_ make me beg mine mine I love you he says teeth bared lifting me up for more _yes ah_ harder I love you love you never doubt that again for fuck’s sake I laugh and cry oh god help me I’m so close can’t breath fill my lungs with your mortal lies rutting plunging into me movements grow erratic his look clear and dark as crystal we kiss stick melt I remember back in the church that day we changed rings Theo closed his book he asked will you he said yes with his amber eyes tinted red by the sun and his smile the same look asking me will you I said _yes_ I said _yes oh god **yes**._


End file.
